Time: 4.05am
What do u see? A glass half empty or half full? *ponders* I see a glass half full. I am an optimistic person. True and false.

When things get harder, do you often back off, lose faith or face it as a challenge to you? I had a talk with a new friend today and we discussed about life. We went to seletar reservior. Its my favourite chilling out place. I once made two wishes on two different shooting stars there. One came true. The other did not. But the one that came true didnt have a happy ending. But still, i do not give up hope. I know that one day when i am about to lose faith again, i will invest some faith onto that shooting star up there. I will wish upon that shooting star once more and hope that it will bless me again.
So my mindset is real strong huh? that is something that i conclude so far.

He is one guy who views a glass as half empty. He had been through alot of heartbreaks in life and he has lost his faith. He thinks of revenge, inflicting pain onto other people. He thinks that it will be better to be break heart than heart break. He rather be unhappy than end up getting hurt. I ponder over his views.

Yes. My life is shit now. But i think i havent lose faith in life. I live each day like hell. Life is only in black and white now. Dull, boring, sick and fustrating. That is a wrong mindset. I know. It maybe black and white now but it wont be in the near future. I am sinking into the pit of depression but i am going to combat it well. I wish that i will keep on thinking like that.

Ah wang is always there to offer me advices whenever i need them. Still can remember his advice on jo few months ago. It didnt seem to get into me at that time. Though i heard his advices, i rejected them, storing them into the back of my mind. Months later, i realised that those words from him are really valuable. He left a line that made an impact on me yesterday. I told him that no one love me. That's really what i feel. Or even if they do, i cant feel it. I am not god. I can only know love when i feel it. It doesnt just comes in words or actions. It comes simultaneously. "if no one loves you, then what am i doing here talking to you?" i felt so touched. It may just be a simple sentence but i know he cares. I know that there are other people who cares too. But.. sigh. They cant always be there. Just like qiuqun, yueqi, wang..etc.

Read zane's Od. And she talks about life as well. She said that as people grow older, they start to only appericiate big things and neglect the small little things that people do. Materials start to get really important to them. Money, cars, career...etc. I realised that i am just like one of those people she was talking about. Money, cars, career.. all seems so important to me now. I keep having that feeling that burn in me. i want all these things so much. If i have to choose between happiness or "materials", which will i choose?

sigh. i am tired now. I cant exactly express my thoughts very well. All clashing together. I dont want to end up talking about a thing twice here. Let me get some rest. bbl. see ya.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@2/27/2004 03:52:00 am