i am dead serious abt this. I think i am going to be single forever. Yes i am going to stay single. I am seriously disappointed with all the guys in the world. All the male species sucks. Today i received fucking news and i saw fucking people. Fuck. I saw jo and andy at chinablack. Fuck!! why do i always have to see andy?!? i realised that whenever i see andy i feel really sad. Why must i see him at places i thought i will never see him!?

I hate the next thing that i found out. I hate people trying to hide things from me. I know its white lies. I should feel rather happy that they are so dear and kind to me that they try so hard to prevent me from getting hurt again. But i am hurt. again. Yes. I am. I cant cry. I dont know where tears come from now. I cant smoke. I cant even drink. I can never get drunk drinking. wtf. Why am i feeling this way? i want to cry! to release myself! but where are the tears!??!?!! I want to talk to her badly but i know i should wish her well. If you love someone, you should just let that person go and wish him all the best. Duh. i know i dont love him. duh. But i used to have a crush on him. And now.. sigh. I should wish them well but am i that wei da? am i suppose to put up a happy face and see them happily together? Everyone knows the fucking truth except me! why!!??!!! and everyone is keeping it from me!!! fuck!!!!!!

i hate all the guys. They just want me for fuck. Fuck. Do i look like a sex machine or should i feel happy coz i turn them on!? fuck them. I hate all the fake people in this world. Everyone is fake. Is there anyone out there who is really as nice as they seems? i hate it. I am losing it again. I cant find the purpose for living again. I hate everthing around me! once again, i feel aimless. fuck. fuck fuck.

i dont know why i am living.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@3/28/2004 04:38:00 am