I realised that i hate to contact my exs.
 
This "Bryan" added me into msn today. I had no idea who this bryan is so when both of us were online, i msged him and realised that, he's my ex. hm. He lost his password so he changed an email address. Our conversation carried on like normal friends, very friendly actually.
 
Sigh. As i said earlier, i hate to contact my exs. Actually  i love it. I mean, i love to keep in contact with them.  Afterall, we were once together. We shared so many common things. How can someone just forget someone they onced like/love so easily? For me, its easier said than done.  But there are pros and cons to contact exs.
 
Bryan sounded so harmless. He sounded like a super nice guy once again. The bryan i fell for few months ago. Once again, he made promises like gonna bring me out for dinner coz of my belated birthday. I was happy but that was before i thought back about the past.  Promises. Empty promises rather. He taught me to be more careful with guys. He lied to me. He cheated on me. He bluff me and he tormented me. He made alot of promises when we were together but he broke all of them. How i wish it wasnt true. How i wish everything is not a trap to lure me. How i wish he was true...
 
I think i was just too blinded by love then.
 
Sometimes i wish that i can be naive once again. I can be pure and innocent once again. When i dont know dangers, moltives..everything..even clubbing. I rather i'll be a nerd who studies and studies. Then i will not go through so much pain the past. Those pain shaped me for who i am today. I am very cautious, maybe that explains why i am still single. I want to be naive once again, to believe him, to trust him. But he already broke the trust between us. A voice inside me tells me that i can no longer trust him.
 
When i contact my ex, i will always wonder if they will still remember the past ornot. I know the past is no longer important but i just hope that they will remember it and keep me a place in their heart. That's because they will never be erased in my heart. Forever there.
 
sigh. dont think too much abt exs. What passed is all over. U guys broke up because u all are not compatible. Cmon. smile!
 
still waiting for the one who can be better than him....(*him doesnt refer to bryan)
 
 

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@7/19/2004 09:42:00 pm