I have so many things to rumble about! i am sure i can go on and on.. boO.

For people who had been hanging out with me, i am sure you guys should have heard me rumbling about dieting. Yes. I want to diet! and i am on one!! but i think it blackfired. Its not going as well as i expect it to be. Besides dieting, of course i went for exercises but it really feel like hell to me! I no longer can eat all the typical nice food i love! I have to find time everyday to exercise. I keep myself onto plain water. How miserable can one's life be? It blackfired because instead of slimming down, (so far i haven see any effects), it makes me feel miserable. =( But why am i dieting? coz if i dont, most of the time i am miserable too. Miserable from problems like trying to get into my old clothes, hard time fitting into nice clothes at shopping mall, having in inferior complex about myself and other shit. Where are all my confidence? I thought that by dieting, i can gain some confidence back but instead of gainning confidence fast, it makes me become more and more aware of body shapes around me. And i am sure those around me should be sick hearing my grumbles about fat! i used to hate this kinda ppl! but i am one now!!!! argh!!!!Next, i nearly get into accident again today!! wtf!! Yesterday also!! wtf!!!! Ah.. dont know la.. after that nick accident, i realised that i actually got scared during rounding! wth!? isnt rounding my favourite? Or is it because i didnt get ride a rex? lolz. But i usually dont get to ride a rex for rounding either. Sigh. Had been like looking forward to 8/8 so much but think i am not going to have the chance to go. Dont think vinc will bring me. =( coz i am so fat n ugly. My skin sucks. Its full of pimples and scars! and not forgetting all the little bits of god-knows-what. The dark eye rings under my eyes makes me look sick and there are lines forming near my eyes. Are those wrinkles?!?!?!??!! OMG!!!! HELP!!! Sigh. And exams are round the corner! i am having one on tue and one on wed. What if i cant get a B?! what will happen? oh no. What if i fail? that will mean the end of everything. This whole shit is stressing me out. I am on the verge of pulling my hair!!! ahhhhhhhHHhhHH!! oh yea i saw kenny, joyce n didi they all just now at selegie. Saw kenny n joyce first. So prominent, White rex, blue neon light and black bonnet. Who wont notice?? Then as we drove past them, saw didi and his gf and joey. Sigh. Sometimes i hate to see em coz it makes me think of the fun times we had. We were so close friends! True friends! I haven make any true guy friends for a long long time. WHY!? Aiya everyone is happily attached. who care about friends? if i am attached, probably i wont care so much either. But no! wenbin that day told me that while i was with him, i always go and pei my friends instead of him. Did i? oh shit. Why was i such a bitch? lolx. ok i must be mad typing so much so fast. This reminds me of "speed writing" when i was in the sec school. I just keep on writing and writing my ideas without organanising or paragraph. just write anything i love. Sigh. I hate it. Fuck life. too tired to think of organsing all these stupid thoughts. Just wana type. maybe deleting this entry when i am free. so count urself lucky to read my shit. wth!? stop bothering me!!!! but dont forget i need attention and TLC too. fuck life.


You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8/07/2004 02:48:00 am