At times when i look at couples from third point of view, i can easily see what's wrong and i know what to do and react for that situation. When i see a silly guy who will do EVERYTHING for his girl, yet his girl goes all out to flirt around with guys, i just shake my head and say, "silly guy. cmon whatever u did is not worth it." Other times i see happy couples around, i wonder what's the secret receipe that makes them click so well. Fate?

ah. i am now that "silly guy" i mentioned just now.

Ru mentioned to me abt tee shirts. My love is like my old school Pe tee. I love it so much so dearly...and i dont want to lose it anytime soon. I wish to own it forever. But the shirt will go through wear and tear, or maybe its not even nice at all when i first bought it. But since i have decided to love the tee, i told myself to go all the way out to love it, shower it with care, nuture it etc. But no matter how careful you are, you will realise that one day, the color will fade. The fabric will tear. The tee will go out of shape. Its not always about time. Maybe there are other factors in between-you accidentally tore ur shirt or maybe maybe.. so many maybes! In conclusion, the shirt have become old raggard and has a huge hole in it. No person of the right mind will want to be seen wearing it, having to go near it. It will only bring you misery and embarassement and nothing else. it may even ruin your life by affecting ur self esteem, confidence etc. But why cant u just throw that stupid ugly tee away? cox i am afraid that i wont be able to find another one that's just like it, have all the good pts of the tee, or maybe its because i am soo used to wearing it that i dont want to change. or maybe its because i dont want to be cold and naked without the tee. Or maybe u are just so sick of shopping to look for a decent tee. U just feel that u want to stay put, no matter whether its good or bad. sigh.

ytd i was supposed to meet him but as usual, he MIA again. Anybody of the right mind will give me a slap and ask me to wake up my fucking idea. Actions speaks louder than words. Why doesnt he want to meet? coz he fell asleep, coz he simply dont bother, cox he simply doesnt like you, coz ... he hates the thought of seeing you. Understand u fucking shitty girL?

Surprisingly i didnt feel angry/sad/disappointed at all. i just felt..numb. but i cant deny the fact that i am still affected in one sense or another. i wish that i know what to do to amend whatever that has gone wrong. But i dont. Cox perhaps the problem doesnt lies with me. its with him. ahh i should stop pointing fingers but hm.. i want to throw the tee away.. but i just dont want to accept the fact that it didnt work. how i wish that i can foresee what to do if i make different choices. Exams coming. i hope nothing big is going to happen to affect it pls pls pls.

darling, what's up with u?
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9/24/2004 09:27:00 am