1. When you fall deep in love and that someone dont return your love
2. When you get the person's body but you dont get the person's soul
3. When you thought by doing this and that you will be happy, but you are not.
4. When he says he love you but you can feel that he doesnt
5. When everything is a lie
6. When you do stupid things willingly and you know that its wrong, but you still go ahead, auto pilot..coz of him
7. When you want to trust him but you keep on doubting him.
8. When his heart is still with her
9. When you miss him so much but he doesnt
10. When you want to hang out with him but he's always "busy"
11. When everything was fine at first but shit happens and everything good disappear.

Ironic huh? Getting back and breaking up is all a mistake ba. Either ways i get hurt. But i dont know why its so auto pilot that i just did things without anything going through my mind. GONG TAO?

It felt so painful yesterday when he showed me the photo he took with her. There were like four pictures on it. First one was both of them kissing. Second was them hugging. Third was bending down i guess and fourth? i dont know. I felt so lost staring at the photo. I calmed myself down and assured myself that it was just a photo in the past and passed it back to him. Then out of curiousity i asked why they wanted to take a neocard with 4 photos combined together. And he went on telling me that "its the latest machine." What the fuck? I felt tearing pain seeping through the rive of my broken heart, rubbing salt into the wound. Infecting it, destroying it. They looked like a normal couple so nicely together. Perfect couple. Its my fault that i interfere right? I looked as if i am the third party. But i am not!!! I felt like shit. I wanted to pick up my stuffs and leave but i did not. I stayed on and felt worse.

Whole night, the thought just kept on recurring in my head. I couldnt feel his love, nothing. It was as if back to square one. As if back to what we were the first time we were together. I can no longer feel his warmth. Where is the "he"? Where has he gone to? Come back! i am looking for you! I can only call out within myself but i can do nothing about it. It felt like living hell. I was also so un-me. Where is the "me"? God damn it.

Still lost in my own world, in my own thoughts. I cant think properly. is it coz i am going without enough sleep? I dont know.. i just hope i know what to do. I have no one to blame. I chose everything myself. I hate everything.

Everything i do, i do it for you.