Feeling so sick now. Sick as in sick in the stomach, butterflies flooding that kinda sick. I think i discovered the truth and i have to make some dumb decision now.

Yesterday i went over to his house. he did his project while i study for my BFi. Then by chance i gotta see his wallet and i saw pics of him and that girl in his wallet. Its not the first time i see that but i felt so "jo". I didnt feel sad or angry but i just kept very quiet. i only started feeling sick when i saw that log. I saw the words "My gf....blabla" but i am sure that "GF" doesnt refer to me. i wanted to confront him right away but i just didnt feel a thing. The feeling just didnt sink in. I just felt... numb and disappointed. Then slowly, it sinks in and i wanted to explode so much. But i pulled back and kept on thinking. We had a quarrel before going to bed and he intiated to break up. of coz break la.. i am never ur onli girl at all!

aiya dont know la. In the end we like nv break up lehz. He told me he was not in the right mood to talk and he say when he's ready, he will talk to me. But look! i dont wana let him dump especially when he's the one at fault! but right now i dont feel like doing anything. exams are coming. i dont wana affect my mood. But i am afraid he will not come to talk abt it any faster. But i dont wana leave him with the choice. now i wana make a choice! break up! bloody helL! its not like i dont have better guys waiting for me!! there were so many times i give him time and chances to change but he never did. So why am i still wasting my time on him when i know he's not going to change. He will never be, my dear. u just have to face the facts and get a better guy!

I wan to tell him so much that i wana end it. No pt la hur? but i am afraid what if its going to affect my exams that are 3 weeks away? i dont want that to happen. Oh no! what should i do? leave things the way it is.. till it gets better or just dump him. manz! u dont need a man like him!!! right?

sigh. ok.. right now i just decide to leave things the way it is first. i am going to catch some sleep later and study. as for his stuffs.. just leave it la. i cant believe tt i am the third party. wtf.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10/08/2004 09:02:00 am