I miss u so much diary but i miss my darling even more! i think i am going to die missing him! He's back to vietnam since friday and since then we have been communicating through SMS and internet. Its getting tough man. I feel that he's so far and distant. I cant feel his presence at all. I miss everything of him but i dont know how to tell him. I dont wana appear too sticky to him. Like i cant live without him. I am not that sort of dependent of girl but i just wish i am able to tell him how much i miss him and how much i love him.

There's this rule that says u shouldnt let ur guy know exactly how much u love him. He may take you for granted. I learn this sentence myself through my past experience but i just wish i can tell him. And its not only tell, i want him to feel me as well. I am just so lost dont know what to do. I am also very unsure how he feels abt me. His actions tell me that its pretty strong but look, we just started out and i wish to feel and be more secure in our relationship. But distance have brought us apart for a while. I think maybe god wan to give us this obstacle to go through together to prove our love ba. I just wish it wont get really tough. I am starting to feel abit scare of what i am going to face. i wish everything will be back to normal soon. i wana feel his presence and his care soon. sigh. i sound so much like an insecure tiny woman. argh! but i just need abit of assurance and i will be fine! Am i asking too much?

Exams are coming and i have just started my revision. Abit late but i am studying okie! went to the airport to study last night and it was GREAT! omg.. felt so good coz the things did went in. Felt very accomplished. Ru and i studied for the whole night till morning. After that we headed for the gym. I had my cup of coffee and we started our workout. We went for our first body pump class and gosh!!! it was.........TERRIBLE!! it was so tiring! its even worse than my body combat and yoga class!! We had to lift weights for almost an hour! gosh! i can feel my trisceps and biseps muscles now~! lol.. but its good exercise! i love it! it makes me feel that i am slimmer now and i can eat without feeling really guilty, especially after that MAC spicy double i had last nite while studying at MAC. lol.

Just woke up from my beauty sleep. Not going to airport tonite coz i have no company. Think i am going to try to finish my revision tonight myself. Then i gonna start on my accounts. i hope to score well for my BFI and pass all the other modules. Oh pls. Doing this for my future's sake. For darling's sake. For everyone who care. I dont wana retain anymore.

I miss you so much darling!!!!
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10/17/2004 08:30:00 pm