It breaks my heart to receive his message last night. It breaks my heart when i heard him last night. He got drunk. He said he was sad. He insisted me to go and fetch my things from his house last night. So that he will not remember it the next morning. I wonder if those words are true. Do you know how hard i had to ignore the ache in my heart and act tough? How hard i had to tell them i am enjoying myself with my guy friends and i am just not free?

Did i sense that hint of regret in his tone? Why must all these happen? Why cant you just practice some self control? How come the good old calvin cant comes back to me? He's DEAD! He's not there anymore.

Do you have any idea how much i want to forgive him? How much i wish all these didnt happen? How much i wish all these is only a nightmare? How much i pray that he's really guilty and remorseful and seek for my forgiveness? He told me he is but i really cant feel it. I dont want this heart breaking thing to happen again. I dont want it to hurt me once again. I dont wan to feel like a fool once again. I am scared this feeling will come haunting me again. But secretly i wish we will get back together without all this frightening chilly memories. With him really want to change. Really changed for the better.

Do you know how much i dont want him to pack my stuffs and pass them to me later? I dont want him to pick up every single of my stuffs and think of me. I dont want him to go through that pain. I dont want to look at all the things placed in my room. i want them in his! I want to go back to his house and slack there just like every weekend. I want life to resume. But all these cant be true anymore. Face it girl. Unless he change, this whole thing will just happen again and again. If he loves you, he wouldnt have hurt you. Just like the way you dont wan to see him hurt. Just like everytime u hurt him, your heart will ache twice as much.

No more memories, no more silent tears!
No more gazing across the wasted years!
Help me say goodbye...
help me say goodbye!

[Male voice] (Raoul)
No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I’m here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm you and calm you

Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I’m here, with you and beside you
To guard you and to guide you

[Female voice] (Christine)
Say you love me every waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you

[Raoul]
Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You’re safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you

[Christine]
All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me

[Raoul]
Then say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you

[Christine]
Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you

[Both]
Share each day with me, each night, each morning

[Christine]
Say you love me

[Raoul]
You know I do

[Both]
Love me, that's all I ask of you
…
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Love me, that's all I ask of you
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1/09/2005 03:46:00 pm