My stomach has been giving me problem for the whole night. Till right now at 3pm in the afternoon. I think i am suffering from gastric pain. But i had lotsa food last night! Wanted to head to sentosa this morning but cant manage to wake up for it. boo hoo hoo.

There's this very uncomfortable feeling in me. It just keeps on going round and round and round. I know all that he said are all bunch of lies but i just keep on convincing myself that that's what i want. I thought u said u dont care about his lies? no! i didnt! i said i dont mind about the past lies and those i do not know of but i mind about those lies presently that are exposed by me. Am i really as happy as i thought i will be? He's going back this saturday. I dont think i will have a chance to see him on Sat. Half of me wish that he will go back fast and come back fast. The other half of me feels so lost on the fact that he's going back. he will be so far away out of my reach. And that's not a week or two. That's months. Everytime he goes back, i will miss him alot. I hate the part where i have to see him leave. Last kiss last hug last good bye sort of thing. But its not the last. I hate the word last and the action last. I just wish its never ending. But everything in life has to come to an end. right? I wana send him off on sat but i am afraid that i cant contain myself again. Like the first time he left... It sounds stupid to cry but its really different if u know he's gonna be so far away from u yet u cant do anything abt it.

He's slowly denying me. I knew it. I can see it and i can feel it. i left him a friendster testimonial and he refused to approve it. Things are never the same anymore. He's so afraid to let the other girls know abt me. And i know he's still flirting behind my back. So in this case when i know he's flirting behind my back, anyone of the right mind will ask me to relax and flirt around too. But what's the purpose of both parties flirting around behind each other's back!?

OMG. i sound so pathetic. i sound as if i am begging for his love. I cant be a weakling. If he dont appericiate u, why do u have to care so much? because i wish that a part of the good him will return. But the good him will never return!! Face it girl! If he returns, its a bonus. If he doesnt, its just au natural. Dont u understand this simple kick asse theory?

i asked Ru, what can a woman do to make a man love her? to make a man love her the most? Is it the actions she do, the words she say, the sex she gives, or is it simply her? Simply because cupid strikes and when both of them are just right for each other, they will see no one else. But no. There are more and more "seeing someone else" case in life! In dating, relationship, marriage. Everything! So what's going on?

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1/21/2005 02:34:00 pm