ahhhH!! jason embarassed me in lecture hall yesterday!! Gosh! We were having lab lesson and i saw this guy from another class. He's year 2 as well and i had seen him around in school a few times, that few miserable times when i was in school. hee. ah ha. So the story started with me telling jason that i find that guy cute and guess what?! Jason happened to know him! Then he chucked me with his details.. his name, he's attached blabla. STOP! i didnt say i am interested in him! i merely said he's cute. Its just a nice comment, a compliment! After that lab class, we went to our blaw lecture and that cute guy was in our lecture class as well! How come i never notice that he's there?! I did the normal stuffs, sit down, take out my notes and stone. Suddenly jason shouted out at him and waved for him to come up(we were sitting rows above him). "hey elaine thinks that you are cute!" Gosh!! You should see my face manz! i was blushing like mad! I am supposed to be this antisocial girl in school who doesnt talk to anyone but jason and there she is, that antisocial girl finding that cute guy cute!? I guess he was caught surprised and blush redly as well. Said a quick thank you and rushed back to his seat. Lolz. I didnt know what to do manz! "welcome" was all i could think of. Thanks ah jason.

Oh yes! i have abs!!!!! but i still have a large tummy! really! i saw that line and that two packs! haha faint one la.. yippy!!!


In class now. Received his msg yesterday that he's coming back next week. hm.. But he told me i cant meet him coz his mom will be around for a week blabla. Do u think i will want to meet you so much? GOsh. He makes me sound and look so pathetic. I am not a freakin doormat!!!!!!!!!! And freak. So what if ur mom's around? Cant she see me around? i think its more like u are going to stay in ur condo with ur beautiful girl for a week before announcing that u are back and back with me officially. I am tempted to expose him. WTF?! But exposing him will only make ma hurt and prove whatever i dont wana see and hear. Which way will i be happier? Since i am happier the way things are now, why dont i just ignore them?! He wana meet me then come and meet me lor. Dont meet nvm. He should miss me alot lor. But he can just tell me he cant meet me coz his mom is around. That's bullshit. Its just an excuse. He had been away for so long already. Which boyfriend wouldnt wana rush back to see his gf?! He isnt even excited at all. WHy should i be? i am no excited that u are back! Its not a good news its a freaking bad new!!!!

okok. Shh. relax. Since he doesnt care whether he sees you ornot, its a clear signal that he doesnt miss or care abt U. He didnt even bother to tell me he's going thailand. He's coming back to meet his beautiful girl or god knows which fling he's having now. So just relax and enjoy your own freakin life. Enjoy good food good wine, good music, good clubbing and with all the new cute rich guys around, who cant enjoy?! Cmon get a life! You dont need him to live! Gosh.
I am just too tired to care. Stop freaking me such a pathetic. You are not! Its saddening that he's violating my love but heck, let the love die.

am i reacting too aggressively? Maybe everything isnt as bad as u think? But if i only think of the good things, i will be very disappointed when none come true and all the bad things start happening. Trust me, you will be happier this way.

Stay happy. Promise to stay the kind of life you are having now.Enjoy every single moment.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@3/01/2005 12:01:00 pm