Broken is what describes my heart the best now. I hate breakups. It sets me up and spoil everything in my life(for now). I hate how strongly it affects me and my life. Funny to say, we broke up over "nothing". After 8 months, he finally realised that "we are not suitable for each other after all".

A deep cut in my heart. Fresh blood pouring out. Its clotting up now, more or less but it still hurts. After the past breakups, i am thankful that i have grown to be stronger bit by bit. I am glad it no longer hurt as much as the past but who can deny that it doesnt hurt? The usual routine, the crying spells, the thinking-abt-the-past-and-tears-will-fall, the missing him, the everything.. but this time i didnt ruin my training. I still went for my training(thankfully). I still manage to be strong and face my life. I have a great life ahead. I wont want to ruin it again. I dont want to end it like my poly. And the most important thing is that i finally give up. Give up after 8 months. Maybe he's right, all along both of us were struggling to keep up with each other and we maybe trying too hard. But fr my pt of view, there is nothing too hard.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Perhaps he's just too cant be bothered to try anymore. I dont believe in a relationship that works without trying and compromising. Even the most happy couple quarrels. So us the exception? i dont think so.

Since he has already decided what he wanted, there's no pt trying to change him now. Its fate that brings up together. if we are really fated, who knows we may change and meet some day again. I am relieved that i act like my heart. My heart says that she's hurt terribly but she's gonna be strong. She feels that she should let him go. If you love him, let him go to find his own happiness. I never believe in that until today. hm.

I am glad for the happy memories we once shared. I enjoyed every single moment of it. Thank you for everything. You know how important you are to me. I hope u will remember me too.

all the best to you.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@6/14/2005 07:48:00 pm