Wednesday, October 05, 2005
The more i think about it, the more fumy my mood gets. Its so thick with fumes that i cant sleep! Instead of feeling remoseful, she created an entry to critise me. She wrote that "she had been like this all along". All along the jokes were not that insensitive. At least not as insensitive as to me blowing off my top. At least they were of levels within my limits. I would convince myself its nothing and dismiss them. Yes i used to laugh with you because you didnt create as much embarassement for me. But once you go over my limit, i will blow up.

Being a stewardess is NOT A HIGH CLASS JOB. If any of you people thinks its high class, then try coming in to take my place. I can assure you that its not all that glamourous as you think. And if anyone looks down on my job too, dont let me see you becoming a stewardess. If i complete my studies and i work in a bank, will people make a big fuss if i go shopping and go for facials?

I am angrier that she pokes her nose into other people's and my issue. I never poke my nose into her issue with other people. And oh yes, just in case anyone is kaypo and wondering again, i have done a transaction. Now you dont have to poke your nose into our issue because there is no more issue!

And for elaine's birthday present, we wanted to get more than just the cosset top for her but who was the one who insisted not to get that thing and that will go and hunt for another present? I didnt purposely not transfer you the money. i was in a hurry to take flight. i couldnt transfer u. i rushed out of the house even before i can turn my pc off. i wanted to explain when i reached osaka. I msged u with my handphone. One international sms and u dont even freakin bother to reply! that left me with no chance to explain anything to u.

And going to my facial only cost twenty bucks and it was a promotional. i didnt even wanted to go in the first place. I went because it was cheap, fun and yueqi's going too. I dont suppose going to facials means "i changed into some big fark who's a stewardess". I went to facials before i am a stewardess. I didnt like to go because there were no promotions and they squeeze my pimples! And i believe there's nothing really wrong for me to go shopping or pamper myself. Afterall i dont go around sleeping around just to get those stuffs. My wrinkles are showing and i am just a freakin 19 year old teenager. I desperately need those eye masks and whatever skin care i buy for myself. I have the right to take care of my skin. I dont need to explain to anyone about that.

I just got my first month pay and i must say that it isnt alot. Those were just my OJT flights. My pay isnt even enough to cover my expenses for my training in japan and the ojt flights! I know that it is nice for me to get something for my friends when i am back but i dont have the financial ability to get it all the time. i haven even pay off my debts! Most of the money were spend on expenses there and yes i admit, some of my splurges that i regreted. I am not stingy to think that, "oh ur last holiday trip u didnt get me anything, so i aint getting anything for u this time round." i do try to get small little things and i hope u guys appericiate them. It may not be the nicest or the rarest thing on earth but it cost. Even if it comes from hyaku en shop. I cant go onto the train if i am short of 100 yen.

aiya, sorry guys, dont mind me. i dont exactly know what i have been typing for the past half an hour. Its just words and plentiful of complains. Its just those time of the month and those periods in my life when i think the world just sucks. Just let me be for a while and i believe things will resume. Or will they not? i am just feeling really stressful about everything, about life, about money, about everything. fuck. fuck. fuck. i really think i shuld get out of this place. Go australia study or go somewhere far to work for years and not come back. its better this way. Friendship will always remain fresh, i will not have any bf problems.. i wont quarrel with my mom. Everyone will miss me all the time.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
 @10/05/2005 02:51:00 am

Me
i never learn

i'll rather be single than get into a bad relationship
Last season's Pink balenciaga!
2.55
Beach holiday-i need spa!
LV Keepall cabin bag
 LV Trevi
To feel happy everyday!
LCD TV for my room
Photoshoot
Save money
Better skin
Slim down
Learn a new language
Learn Skiing
Pick up a new skill/sports
My driving license
 New Handphone-LG Prada/Ipod Phone/Flip phone
To backtrack down the old kampung road
Leave a word. or two. or three.

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Since 23rd feb 06

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