Most of the times, i really hate my age.

I hate the fact that i am at this age at this time. I think i am at the right social status but at the wrong age. I dont think i behave alot like my age peers, the friends i hang out with are mostly not around my age, the things i do are mostly not around my age too. Sometimes i realised that i fear that i behave like my age too. Oh no. i think i am suffering from reality phobia?

Ever since few months ago, i stopped telling people my age and i absolutely HATE anyone who disclose my age. I know some people may think that i am overly worked up but i really hate the fact on how they judge me with MY AGE. Its not fair to me! I dont deny that in terms of thinking and behavior, i maybe really childish at times. But what about most of the other times? i maybe childish to them but i am not childish for my age!!!

And ever since i stopped telling people my age, i become really worried about how to break the news to others about my age. Just look at tonight:

I had a great fun tonight at zouk's members and velvet. Got to know alot of people yea, mostly guys but i also gotta know this ex sq gal. Really nice people.. and like i always say, i need to desperately widen up my social circles!!! I love chatting with them, drinking, getting high and realising that this friend know another of my friend and things like that. Hehe. But when they start asking about MY AGE, i didnt know what to do. I dont like to lie but i also dont like anyone of them to know my age. How would they react if they know my true age? And pls dont tell me that people dont judge u with ur age. I do, and i am sure everyone do! Okay thats the fact! Most of them are in twenties and a few of them perhaps hitting their thirties soon. So what's gonna happen if i tell them my age? They will go like,"oh u are really young!" and den regard everything else i say later as "this girl here is just a kid". Thats unfair to me!!!

This problem started after the i-m-too-childish-so-i-break-up-with-u-thing. C'mon, most of the guys i meet are all much older than me. So who am i supposed to date if everyone's gonna judge me with my age? They will say,"Oh, why are u dating a xiao mei mei bla bla..." This happened before okay! Nowadays, i hardly meet anyone who's around my age(that refers to guys) and i realised that we no longer have the really common topic. The things i do and the things they do are totally different! And most of the guys around my age aint working. I am not saying that i dont date schling guys but its just different! Aiya, i dont know what to say. argh!!! Am i like being too mature too fast? Or doing too many "adults" things at too young an age? Why am i even working in the first place?! wtf?!

i am tired, my eyes can hardly open and i am having this big problem on my head! sigh. There are so many people who are dying to find out my real age. wtf?!

anyway, besides the age part, met a few really cute guys tonite. haha! But cute is one thing, age is another. ahh.. looks like i need to find a solution about this age issue before i meet more people if not my head is going to get bigger and bigger with water.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10/23/2005 07:19:00 am