I have been thinking of getting my favourite minature schnauzer for a long long time already. I was at my friends house the other day and saw her schnauzer, hugo. OMG it was sooooooo cute! i love it immediately! its so adorable and it behaves just like a little baby! he is very attentive to his master and he seems to like me alot too. hehe... i simply love schnauzer!

Have been giving it some serious thought but i am a really emotional person. A dog has an average life span of ten years. So meaning i am going to spend my ten years with my doggie. But look, whats going to happen when the dog leaves me?　Ten years is neither long nor short. Its long enough for me to cultivate strong feelings for it but short for its life. I can foresee that i will be quite affected with the death and may even sink into a depression. I think it will be ten times worse than a break up. omg. Thats hell lot of pain! that puts me off almost completely. Sigh.

The same goes to getting a new boyfriend. Yea i may have stated in my wishlist that one of my wishes is to get a new boyfriend. But i doubt thats really my wish for now. I realised that i love to be single and i want to be single. OMG. am i going to die being an old hag?(thats a joke, LAUGH!) The thought of having to share my life, my money and my time with another person simply straints me out. The amount of effort that i put in yet gets no return at all..omg. And i am great being single. I have no one on my mind when i am overseas working. I only have to call my dad and a few good buddies to inform them abt my whereabouts. When i am back, i get to party for all i want and on days when i need a break, i have dozen of friends and activities for me to do. So why do i need a man? But am i really feeling this way or am i saying this way because there isnt anyone that i fancy?

But i thought there was someone whom i fancy? Yea i did have someone that i fancy but u know, its just fancy, not some great love sorta thing. And i am dont want to be disappointed. I have been disappointed so many times by friends, by my exs and i really hate the stinky feeling of disappointment. I dont want to be filled with high hopes and in the end realised that hes not what i want or i am not what his want. Moreover, i am a different person when i am single and i am attached. When i am single, i look like a happy go lucky girl. Everyone loves me, including hugo(ops) but if i go attached, i will be a sob. ah..

next up on my mind is friendship. I read up zanes blog and she says that people only call people up when they need each others help. In other words, to make use of one another. Thus resulting in no friendship but just making use of each other. I do agree that this happen to a certain extent but i am glad that i can proudly say that i have friends who calls me because they really love me and care for me. They really want to know what i am doing and i really wnt to know what they are doing too. they are the first to be there when i fall and i want to be there when they fall too. Thank you guys for being there. For giving me those heart warming phone calls. For listening to my bitchings, for listening to my complains, for listening to my love stories in between my sobs, for accompanying me when i am lost.

Upon thinking of all these, i just decided that i should not keep on thinking of whatever thats irritating the shit out of me. Friends are hard to come by, best friends are send by god. You dont have them happening to you everyday. Everyone have their short comings and i have lotsa them too. i will cherish all of u!! Wait for my phone calls! hehe.

see i am being emotional again. aw. heheee...but i love this emotional part of me now. wahahhahaa..

ok time to go back to my room to nua and wait for jolins phone call. I bought salad and sashimi for my dinner! sounds good uh? self made sashimi salad. hohoho!
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11/10/2005 03:56:00 pm