Loving yourself is very important. When u love yourself, u make decisions that is right and will not do any harm(or less harm) to urself physically and emotionally. I realised that i've grown to love myself so much. Its a good thing as i no longer do things that will hurt myself or put myself to regret. As i love myself, i also learn to love others. I think of consequences instead of going towards to "wants". I cant believe i have grown to love myself. I thought i didnt know how to love myself in the past. I thought i will never know. But today, i realised that i do. I love myself! =)

Despite the fact that i miss him every occassionally, i do not allow myself to indulge in anything that i think i may regret. In other words, i learnt self control. Its a good thing and something thats vital in life. You need self control to work everything right. i dont want to mess up my life just because of a moment of happiness, greed or want.

Was very surprised with my actions too. It was all good. Everything happened for a good reason. Felt surprised to have met him in the first place. I almost didnt know how to react. I almost couldnt breathe. My heart missed a pound. You wouldnt be able to imagine how i felt. Everything felt like a dream come true but a dream can never be too good to be so true. Since its a dream, its meant to be a dream. I prefer to end everything with a happier note rather than having me to face the truth the next day. When the truth will come slapping me on my face, asking me to,"wake up u bitch!".

It was like a reenactment. His scent, his hug, his kiss. But times have changed. It'll never be the same again. Thus instead of fantasizing of whats deem to be morally wrong, i decided to keep to my principles. If i were to go for it, i dont want it to be a-night thing. No way. I dont fantasy one night stands. Even if its with him. If i want it, i want it to be a forever thing. Too greedy huh? yup i am Miss greedy elaine.

I maybe 19 but i am not 19. I am not as naive as i used to be and u really have got to convince me that i wont be hurt(or too hurt) before i will make any impt decision that will affect my life. I still miss him and i dont know how long it will be for me to stop missing him. But it doesnt matter lah. In the meantime, i hope to meet someone's who worth my love again, who could make me fall in love as hard again. Am glad that i am the new me now. Stronger, think more, more sensible. Congrats to myself.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11/04/2005 04:51:00 am