i had a huge agurement with him just now. it became my fault at the end of the conversation. i think i am draining him out. i m equally drained out too.

Perhaps i have very high expectations. You know, things like when he said he will call, i expect him to call. My expectations are so high, isnt it? so so so so high. period.

We actually agured on this topic. He said he would call last night but he didnt. He claims that he was drunk and wasted and had a very bad day. Thats why he didnt call me back as he promised. I didnt blame him for that. I waited and waited, from yesterday till today, hoping that he would have done as he said so. But even till 10pm, there were no calls from him at all. So i called him up and told him not to pick me up tomorrow at the airport. He didnt even call me to confirm abt picking me up u see? How would i know if he is really going to come? It sets me thinking, if i didnt call him to ask him not to come, would he even remember? i cant help realising how unimportant i am to him. He probably would blame it that u know, we didnt reconfirm everything again, thus he didnt come. blablabla.

But of course he didnt have a chance to use that because i called him. He actually didnt get why i got so angry and worked out just because he didnt call. I know i maybe pushing my luck too much too. Getting angry over every single small matter but look, this is not a way to treat a girl, especially not a girlfriend. if u say u call, u call. And if u forget, nvm. Just call me tomorrow! Freaking hell! he didnt even call or msg! whats so diffcult?

This is also not how i want my boyfriend to be, How i want a man to treat me. If u are wrong, apologise. I will accept it. pls. In the end, the conclusion seemed to be like, he shouldnt have promise anything for me at all. He just shouldnt promise to call me ever again. Is that the only thing that he can think of? ouch it hurts.

This new york trip seem to be tearing us apart. Draining my energy away. If this is some sort of mind game that anyone thinks a relationship require, pls stop. Mindgames dont work for me. It only does when i dont fucking bother abt the guy.

And come to think of it, i am so worked up because i miss him. i want to talk to him. And the reason why he didnt call? He kept on asking me not to use all this little issues to judge his love for me. But it is through all these little issues that one can tell anothers actions.

ok fine. Perhaps i am falling too deep. I am feeling so drained out. Totally drained out.

My poor health is draining me out. I kept on coughing non stop. my senior just called me and told me off abt dropping the note. She claimed i didnt but the fact is i did! Work is draining me off. I kept on binging. I put on 2 kg this trip. In 7 days. My diet is draining me out. Everything is draining me out.

help.

You know how much i wish that i haven raise up the topic at all? You know how much i wish that i can just send him a i am sorry msg and wish that everything is my fault and we could just end this draining quarrel.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1/07/2006 10:45:00 pm