So many things happened last night. It felt like a very scarey and painful nightmare. One that i cant bring myself to believe that its true.

But i am seriously very thankful for all those who were there for me last night..esp miki. Thank u so much. And its ironic how a stranger's actions can make me smile while the person who is so close to me can leave me in tears.

I think its all meant to be. Wondering whats the next step to take. Worried that any wrong step can make me go back to the cycle again. But at the same time, not quite willing to let go yet. Its painful, very painful. Heart shattered to pieces. Is this really the side of him that i haven seen? Is this the real him?

Its so painful that i am so numb. So tired. So drained out. My relationship is always full of drama.

Everyone makes mistakes. he claims that he cant forgive me. So now he can? What does all those actions mean? It felt like a slap on my cheek. And the next moment i see responses again. Dont know what to do. Think i need some time to cool down, think about what i want. I thought coming to here can make me understand what i want. But looks like its more than these.

I dont even know if i can forgive him for what he did. I can forgive but i think i can never forget. is this really the end of us?
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1/14/2006 08:00:00 pm