There are so much inside me that i want to say and i want to do but i dont have the chance to do it now because i am leaving. Why is it that everytime when i have a mess that i think i need to clear and i have to leave almost immediately? I guess i just have to put it away for the next 7 days and hopefully things wont get worse by the 7th day that i am back..

Went clubbing but i didnt smile more than ten times. I drank but i couldnt get high and i cant also, because i have a flight in half an hours time. I wanted so much to drop flight(yes seriously it did cross my mind) but i tell myself i cant because this is an important responsibility to me and i cant afford to do anything to jeopardize my job. It is really a very hard decision but i guess i just have to go on and do what i need to do. No more being a kid.

I guess i have already did all my best. Not too sure if he saw what i did already.. but if he still cant be bothered, i think i just have to move on(once again) to the next chapter of my life. To admit the truth, I havent been a very good girlfriend. But i guess he has been a very great boyfriend.. i think he tried. yes i think he did.

World is tumbling down. Tears rolled down so many times. Cant do anything much. Just let my heart ache.

One moment i am so happy and cheerful, the next, i feel horrible.

i miss him so much. i wish i can see him immediately. So what if i do see him immediately? It is not a horrible breakup because we didnt really let each other down. But i think its just a waste. nevertheless, i cant do anything. have to go for a painful flight. I have to duty 3 legs. damn painful. i wish i can do something right now. yah, i can-go for my flight. =(

think i just have to let work n my long flights numb my pain.

be strong.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1/26/2006 05:11:00 am