i heaved a sigh of relieve when i finally heard what i have been pushing to hear. I actually secretly enjoy seeing people being push to the edge till he cant breathe anymore! It was actually another agurement but somehow i had decided to keep on pushing my luck, till i pushed him over the edge. I knew that the more i am going persue the matter, the worse he situation will become. But i just kept on doing that and i actually felt relieved when those words came out of his mouth.

I like the feeling that there is no longer a chance anymore. So that i wouldnt even bother to place any of my hopes anywhere. I thought those words will slice my heart into pieces but i only felt a teeny bit tinge of saddness that come and go. *slap myself!* Why dont i feel sadder? gosh. something seems to be wrong with me. Or perhaps its because i also know that nothing's going to improve out of this relationship but just that i didnt want to call the shots. I felt the need to let it go but just couldnt bring myself to face the facts. So when the another disappointment hit me, i just realised that there wont be any ifs or buts. The relationship is dead.

He gave up, so did i.

I felt so genki today! Only slept for 2 hs.. and woke up all thanks to my dad!!!(he woke me up with a knock on the door..he thought i was drowning myself in beer..like duh! who will be drinking at 5am in the morning?! lol) I couldnt sleep so i decided to go for the very missed body combat class. I felt like a total newbie in the class! i forgot all the steps and made quite a fool of myself. But being the thick skin elaine, i simply---dont care. haha. Hang out in town, had breakfast and my fav tea and den sat there having some self reflection. I felt GREAT. Dont worry. As i said, the saddness just come and go. and den all of a sudden i realise that i am not sad anymore! Cant deny that i am a little sad.. but its just..unexplainable. Did i force myself to feel this way or am i realy this way? Whatever it is, i am fine on the first day of breakup. =D

Met up with the girls for lunch and hang around in town. I finally catch Final Destination!!!!! Nv gonna go onto the roller coaster ever again! i am a timid mouse. =X trying very hard to pry my eyes open.. time to allow myself to sink into the comatose stage. Nite nite. I wish that i wont have any nightmares tonight. =D
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@3/13/2006 08:59:00 pm