Sometimes in life, it gets very agonizing to see changes.

Some changes are great. They spice up our boring lifestyles, gives surprises..etc etc but for some, it comes as a form of eye sore. The change does not directly affect me. But somehow i feel the responsibility and duty to help someone else get out of it(before its too late). But many a times, i can never help. I feel helpless standing there, trying to talk to that person, and then when the person look so happy with that present change, i realise that i cant destroy that person's fairy tale. I will then have to pretend i dont care, or put it in another way, convince that i am happy for that person.

But is it really something positive? Am i being a friend if i continue to pretend that i didnt see, and eventually convince myself that its all good? The cliché-hope that everything will turn out fine this time. But what if it doesnt? Its okie if it doesnt turn out fine, but what if it turn out worse?!?

After one of my buds' aggressive reaction to one situation in our lives, i realised that i am not much of a friend. In that incident, i convinced myself that as long as she's happy, she's fine. and i allow her to go back into the pit. Things may seems so perfect on the surface. But if u really read into the details, u cant help questioning. That's when i realised that i am so at fault. So wrong not to say anything. I was actually encouraging.

i feel like giving myself a slap. i deserve one, because of my big mouth. Big mouth for being encouraging. and cant be bothered.

Incident repeated again recently. Should i just remain silent? i tried to say something but it didnt work at all. So guess now, i should just shun myself away, until one day another big change happen, i will just be there to be a shoulder to lean on, again.

There're some who likes to take risks and they measure the probability of failing. They do it well for studies, for priorities, for business. But never for love. Me included.

i know, its dumb.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@5/12/2006 05:07:00 pm