i found myself staring blankly at the laptop so many times recently. In a loss of words. hmm..My mind has been so preoccupied with one thing. yea that one thing. hm.

I missed out on the whole national day's celebration. And not forgetting about the national day eve party at zouk. I heard its so happening. oh well..i always miss out on exciting and fun stuffs. Humph. But i guess i earned a korean toufu dinner last night...and i bought a new Abercrombie jacket!! Cant wait to wear it! Its excellent for fall!!

its all coop up in my heart. Think i should just lock them up and put it away. Putting it away is the only way out. I find myself so cold. I dont feel the warmth and i cant seem to express my warmth out. I feel so fake. I have to fake my way with my paxs. I have to fake with my in charge. And then after a while, i cant even force myself to be fake. I didnt even bother to smile at the paxs. my back aches. my heart too.

But when i see the happy faces staring at me, i feel really happy. But what really makes me happy? I am happy..but i am not. I am not because i make myself not. Because i cant lock it up and put it away.

i will put it away..because i dont want to feel this way anymore.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8/09/2006 03:31:00 pm