I screwed up my life again. Have been in the down-nest of my luck recently. Events one after another.. personal life, work, finances. It's all going wrong..and one wrong lead to more wrong. I used to be able to live with my un-organisation even though occasionally it goes wrong here & there. But this trait of me is causing me alot, more & more.

My whole roster will b e changed, i will have to drop the course. I am trying to juggle between everything in life. I want to give up but i cant give up any. I am like a puppet pin on my fours to a cardboard. I can only struggle. I cant move, i cant change things. And the more i try to run away from things, the harder it hits me when it goes wrong.

I just wish someone will hug me and tell me that it's all right. Go and take a nap when i wake up tomorrow it will all be in place. But it's not and there's no such thing. Very screwed. Very very. I really want to hibernate and waste my time and just procrastinate. But i know i cant.

I have to pick myself up. I have to learn from mistakes. I have to stop procrastinating. I have to start working on all the wrong things. It's ok to fall but its more important to pick myself up from the fall. No point doing more wrongs.

But why is it that i have to pretend that i am strong when i am not? Why do i have to push myself to do things that i know i may not be capable of? Just because it's a right thing to do? Just because if i do it and succeed it can most probably ensure me happiness?

I want to be back to before.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@3/04/2008 10:23:00 am