Long time since i last blogged.

Lotsa changes happened, one of them is that i recently became single again. I hate this whole shit of breaking up and recovering and then going out to meet people again. Just let me be single and die alone(no i dont mean it).

On the outside, i appear tough and i look alright. At least thats what everyone is saying. I am a little surprised myself. The last few times was a nightmare but this time, i am really putting in alot of effort to block up all emotions. But there are still some times when the insonmia kicks in, times when i see or hear things and i started tearing. This is not fair to me. I shouldn't treat myself this way. But i can't help it. Everywhere i turn, i see little things that we share. I know this will go away after a while but at least for now, the wound is still very fresh.

It's ironic because deep down inside, i know its not gonna work and i know its better to leave. But on the other hand, i really miss him. I dont have the courage to look for the missing care bear. I dont have the courage to look through our photos and i dont have the courage to tidy up my room. Even wearing my watch reminds me of him.

Those who've been through will know what i mean by the stabibing pain in the heart that can keep me up the whole night.

I miss every part of him but i know i am going to live through it. Perhaps a part of me will never be the same again.

i wish i can stop tearing and stop feeling the pain.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@4/09/2010 03:56:00 am